


A Chocolate Muffin

by Alula_Astro



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Muggle, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter Friendship, Established Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Established Relationship, I will go down with these ships, If You Like JKR Bugger Off, Multi, Trans FtM Author, she's a bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27530659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alula_Astro/pseuds/Alula_Astro
Summary: "Harry Potter please go to the headmaster's office.” A voice calls from the loud speaker.Harry groans and takes a bite out of his gooey chocolate muffin."What's it about this time?” Ronald Weasley asks."The supposed fight I had with Adrian whatshisface.”-Harry has been living with Severus Snape since he was one and fifteen years later they're romantically involved. There's a small problem. Severus is the headmaster of Harry's school...
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Lucius Malfoy, Harry Potter/Severus Snape, Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

"Harry Potter please go to the headmaster's office.” A voice calls from the loud speaker.

Harry groans and takes a bite out of his gooey chocolate muffin.

"What's it about this time?” Ronald Weasley asks.

"The supposed fight I had with Adrian whatshisface.” He grabs his bag off the floor.

"Umbridge is a right twat for making that up.”

"I know. See you later.”

"Bye mate.”

Harry walks down the corridor then up a flight of stairs still eating his muffin. He bought that with his hard earned money that he got by helping people in his and his boyfriend's apartment block. He knocks on the door.

"In.” Severus calls from inside his office.

Harry goes in and slumps on the chair in front of Sev's desk.

"I trust that you didn't actually have a fight with Mr Pucey.”

"No. I accidentally shoved him and he went running to Umbitch.”

"When did you accidentally shove him?”

"In between fourth and fifth yesterday.”

"On the way to class?”

"The common room. I didn't have a class last yesterday. 'Mione wanted to do a study session.”

"Where did you get the muffin from?”

"I went to the bakery this morning before you got up. I didn't just get the bagels.”

"And you didn't get one for me?”

"It's in the pantry.”

"Good or you would actually be in trouble. You need to start heading to class.”

"I know.” He leans over the desk and gives Sev a kiss.

"See you later. Love you.”

"Love you too.” Harry leaves the room and starts walking to World Religion. The bell goes and he's nowhere near the classroom but he'll just blame Sev if he's too late. Curse whoever built this school for it being so big.


	2. Chapter 2

Five minutes later he arrives at the classroom he goes in.

“Sorry I'm late Professor but I was talking to Professor Snape.”

He sits down next to Draco Malfoy. Draco knows that Harry and Sev are together. Harry has lived with Sev for his entire life after his parents died. It was at the end of year nine that Harry realised that he had feelings for Sev and he told Sev. They were officially together the same night.

“Really? I will be checking.”

“Okay.”

She starts talking about the lesson. Draco slides Harry a note.

_What happened? Was he cross?_

**_No. He just asked me where I got the muffin._ **

_Where did you get the muffin? It looked really nice._

**_The bakery near S and I's apartment._ **

_Next time I'm over we have to go._

**_S said that you're coming over next weekend._ **

_Oh yeah. I am. L is going away on a business trip. I wish I could go with him._

**_You normally do. Don't you?_ **

_Yeah. They normally let partners go but not this time._

**_So instead you get to third wheel S and I all weekend._ **

_You know I only come round for the food right?_

**_What about the quality time with me?_ **

_You're only saying that because you beat my arse at Mario Kart every single time._


	3. Chapter 3

Harry is sat on the sofa watching Netflix when Sev comes out of his office and sits down next to him.

“That was the police. Your aunt has been killed in a car crash and your uncle has been arrested. Your cousin is coming to stay indefinitely.”

“Thank goodness we soundproofed our room.”

“Yes well you are a little masochist.”

“Oh I know.” He leans up and presses a kiss to Sev’s lips. “You’re delicious.”

“So are you my sweet.”


	4. Chapter 4

Harry slumps down against the wall. It’s lunch time next day and he’s waiting for the rest of his friendship group to show up then they’re going back to Harry and Sev’s so that they can have a smoke and some decent food.

“Aye up mate.”

“Hi Seamus.”

“What ya doin’ down there?”

“My cousin is coming to live with S and I. It’s stressing me because if he says anything about the unusual dynamic here we’re stuffed.”

“Just tell him the way it is. He’s less likely to say anything if he knows when he first arrives then if he just finds you and S snogging on the sofa.”

“Thanks mate.”

“No probs.” He holds his hand out to Harry who grabs it and Seamus pulls him up.

“Hi babe.” A black haired boy with the most gorgeous chocolate skin says.

“Hi.” Seamus replies.

They kiss.

“Ugh, they’re so in love it’s gross.” Draco says.

“I know.” Harry agrees.

“Right let’s get out of here. I need a smoke.” Neville says.

“Me too. It was a long one yesterday.” Draco replies.

They set off back to Harry and Sev’s flat.

“Spill the tea.” Seamus says.

"Well L is stressing about this business trip and he didn’t come to bed until one this morning and I’d been horny since about nine.”

"I wouldn’t have let him leave you that long. Just pounce on him.”

"I might just have to next time.”

"And if that doesn’t work you resort to whipping out some toys and putting on a show. Now that always works.” Harry suggests.

"I might have to try that with you.” Seamus pokes Dean in the side.

"By all means please do.”

They all laugh.

"Nev, how’s it going with Blaise?” Harry asks.

"Pretty well. He wants to take things slowly and I don’t mind that plus we’ve got to wait for his mum’s business trip next month before we can do anything.”

"Have a smoke after. It’s great.” Harry says.

"Oh fuck it is. On the balcony overlooking the city with your mans hugging you from behind. I highly doubt that there’s a better feeling in the world.” Draco adds.

"Oh most definitely not. It’s hella romantic too.”

"You feel like it’s just you and him and you could conquer the world.”

"I wish we could try that.”

"If his parents found out that we smoke they would kill us.”

"They still haven't come to terms with the fact that we’re a thing.”

"Mood.”


	5. Chapter 5

The boys are sat on the balcony when Harry’s phone dings. He pulls it out of his pocket.

**Sevy: Who’ve you got over?**

**Draco, Dean, Seamus and Neville. Why?**

**Sevy: You’ll see. Love you. Xx**

**Okay. Love you too. Xx**

"Who’s that?”

"Sev. He was just asking who I had round.”

"Kay.”

"As I was saying this book series is about a male football team; four of them are in a foursome but the rest of the team is homophobic and they have to be really careful about like not all always arriving at the same time etcetera. This foursome live together but their families think they are just flatmates.”

"What positions do they play?” Dean asks.

"Goalie, center-back, defensive midfielder and winger I think. It doesn’t really focus on the game much. It has more of a focus on the extremely kinky sex.”

"Once you’re done with it let me borrow it.”

"I just finished the first book. Here.” He pulls the book out of his bag and hands it to Harry.

"That’s going on the coffee table.” Harry gets up, goes inside and puts the book on the coffee table.

"Are you just going to leave it there?” Draco asks.

"I’ll read it but otherwise it’s going there. It’ll tell my cousin the way the world works around here.”

There is a knock at the door. Harry gets up and goes inside. He walks over to the front door and opens it.

“Five, prepaid, 11 inch, margaretta, stuffed crust pizzas for Harry Potter.”

"That’s me.”

He hands the boxes to Harry. “Enjoy.”

"We will.” He closes the door with his foot and walks back out onto the balcony. "Sev bought us all pizza!”

"Fantastic.” Draco says. He takes four boxes off Harry and hands them round. Harry sits down and they all start eating.

"Sev is the best.” Neville states.

"If you’d had told me in year seven that one day I’d be sat eating pizza bought for me by the headmaster that scared me shitless I would have laughed at you.” Dean says.

"He’s a big softy really.” Harry says.

"Especially with his ickle Harrykins.” Draco teases.

"Bugger off you twat.”


	6. Chapter 6

Harry hears someone knocking at the door and he places his bookmark into the book Neville lent him. He stands up and goes over to the door. He opens the door.

"Hi Dudley. Come in.”

"Hi Harry.”

They go in and walk down the small corridor at the end of the living room. They then turn right and stop in front of a door. Harry opens it and they go in.

"This is your room. The weekend after next we’ll decorate it how you like. We would do it this weekend but Sev’s godson is coming over and he does my head in whenever he’s forced to do work. Even just emptying the dishwasher.”

"Sounds like a bit of a trust fund brat.”

"Oh he completely is but really he’s quite nice. Need a hand unpaking?”

"No. I think I’ve got it.” He starts unpacking.

"So school. You’re going to be in 12RL which is my form. Our tutor is really nice. He’s my godfather’s husband so my friendship group has known him for years.”

"What does he teach?”

"History. He's one of those teachers that gets on with everyone and hands out chocolate like other teachers do detentions.”

"He sounds decent.”

"Yeah he is and he hardly ever sets homework.”

"Awesome. I er…Smoke. Will that be a problem?”

"I do too. If you want a smoke go out onto one of the balconies and close the door behind you otherwise the fire alarm sets off and they have to evacuate the entire building. Oh and at lunch we leave school and come back here for a smoke as we can’t on school premises or directly outside the building.”

"Okay.”

"So boys dress code. School blazer, school tie, white shirt, black trousers and black shoes.”

"Sounds simple enough.”

"It’s not believe me. Each friendship group has its own style. My friendship group - which you will be in until you find your own friends - wears skinny jeans, docs in winter and vans in summer. You can just wear trainers though since I don’t think that you’re the fundamental thing that makes our group our group.”

"Which is?”

"Gay.”

"Nah I’m not.”

"Didn’t think so.”

"I don’t give two if you are though. Love is love.”

"Good. Right so my friendship group consists of me, Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finagan and Dean Thomas. Seamus and Dean are dating. Draco is well… Insest.”

"Okay. I don’t care.”

"Good and the code name of Draco’s mans is L.”

"Right.”

"I’m with Sev and his code name is S because we are just that inventive. Neville is with a guy from the jocks called Blaise Zambini.”

"Thanks for the info. What friendship groups are there?”

"Gays, jocks, emos, preppy twats, chavs and loners. Jocks are all really nice and really cute. Emos to be avoided at all costs.”

"Why?”

"They go round saying how depressed they are even though the most depressing thing that happened to them was their goldfish dying when they were eight. My right eyebrow has been through more trauma than that.”

They both laugh.


	7. Chapter 7

Dudley walks into the kitchen still half asleep. Harry is cooking breakfast and Sev is reading the paper at the table.

"Morning Dudley.”

"How are you so cheerful? It’s still dark.”

"It’s Friday which means two blissful Umbridge free days.”

Sev laughs then his phone rings.

"Speak of the bitch.”

"And the bitch will make her presence known.”

They all laugh. Sev answers the phone and heads out onto the balcony. Dudley sits down at the table.

“What’re we having?”

"Richmond, veggie sausages and hash browns.”

"Okay.”

Harry's phone rings. He answers it and puts it on speaker. "Hello Pissface. Any females?”

_"Every damn time Harry.”_

"Friday Night Dinner is amazing.”

_"Speaking of that, what’re we having for tea tonight?”_

"I’ll ask Sev when he gets off the phone with Umbitch.”

_"Bit late for her isn’t it? She normally calls whilst you two are doing the nasty.”_

"Doing the nasty? What are you? A year seven?”

_"I don’t want to think about what you two get up to.”_

"You’re not exactly a virgin yourself.”

_"That has nothing to do with it.”_

"What did you call for, other than to piss me off?”

_"Bold of you to presume he called for any other reason.” Lucius says._

"Fair.”

_"Father!”_

"Draco, can you tell me why you have rung me whilst I am in the middle of cooking breakfast?”

_"Did we have any History homework?”_

"We had to get pictures for our poster but I’ve done that so you don’t need to do anything.”

_"Okay. Was it hard?”_

"Draco, Horrible Histories is a thing, remember?”

_"Oh yeah. Right, I'll see you at school.”_

"Bye Pissface.”

_"Get fucked.” He hangs up._

Sev walks back in.

"Was that delightful for you?” Harry asks, cheekily.

"What do you think?”

"Why did she ring anyway?”

"Not a clue. I wasn’t listening.”

Harry and Dudley laugh.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry and Dudley walk into school. 

"Harry over here!” Draco calls.

Harry and Dudley walk over to Dean, Seamus and Draco.

"You must be Dudley.”

"Yes I am.”

"Nice to finally meet you.”

"Yeah it is.”

"Dudley this is Seamus, Neville, Draco and Dean. Draco is S’s godson.”

"Nice to meet you all.”


	9. Chapter 9

Dudley’s phone rings and he answers it.

“Hi Ashley.”

“Oooooh Ashley.” Harry, Draco, Dean, Seamus and Neville tease.

“Fuck off.” Dudley mouths at them.

_“Hi Babe. How’s everything going?”_

“Pretty well.”

_“You settling in alright?”_

“Yes.”

_“What’re you up to?”_

“Having lunch. Me and the lads snuck home to have some real food.”

“First of all Dursley, I am too gay and too rich to be classed as a ‘lad’. Second of all, how is McDonald’s ‘real food’? This beef is so raw I can still hear it telling the dog walkers to fuck off.”

The boys laugh and Seamus drops his cigarette off the side of the balcony.

“Shit.” Seamus says whilst trying to see where it landed.

“Bugger, bugger, shit, fuck.We are so dead.” Harry says, stood next to Seamus.

“What?” Draco asks.

“It landed on Mr Jenkins wheelie bin.”

“Oh no. Here he comes.” Draco says.

The watch as Mr Jenkins walks over to his bin and looks at the cigarette.

“WHO DID THIS?” he shouts up to the boys.

“YOUR MUM!!” Harry shouts back.

The boys fall about laughing.

“I WILL BE SPEAKING TO YOUR FATHER YOUNG MAN!!”

“GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE!! HE’S BEEN DEAD FIFTEEN YEARS!!”

“YEAH! HE’S DEADER THAN YOUR HAIRLINE!!” Dean shouts.

“AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE!!” Seamus shouts.

“HOW DARE YOU!!”

“NEVER DARE A FOOL!!”


	10. Chapter 10

“Good morning.” Remus says as Harry and Dudley walk into form.

“Morning.” Dudley chimes back. 

Harry doesn’t say anything as he flops in his seat, with a wince.

“What happened to you?” Remus asks.

“You do not want to know.” Harry replies from his position of head-on-the-desk.

“No sleep?”

“An hour.”

“An hour?”

“Yep. We were woken by Umbrige calling S.”

“About what?”

“Fuck knows. All I know is that I want to punch her.”

“As your form tutor I say; she’s a lovely teacher really. As your godfather I say; she’s a complete bitch and if you’re going to do it the cameras round the back of F block are broken.”

Harry laughs. “Are they really?”

“Yes. Why?”

“For future reference.” 

There’s a knock on the classroom door.

“Come in.” Remus calls.

In walks Umbridge. “I need to speak to Mr Potter.”

“You are so dead mate.” Dudley whispers in Harry’s ear.

Harry groans then stands up and walks out of the room with Umbridge following.

“Mr Potter, this morning I had a little chat with the headmaster and we have decided that for the best of the class you can not continue on the World Religion course.”

“Professor, according to the school charter if any student is removed from any course it requires a full meeting between the headmaster, the student, the student’s guardians and the teacher of the course. I am going to speak to the headmaster now and I may speak to the governors. I’m sure Lucius Malfoy would love for me to interrupt his morning of work with a phone call about staff misconduct at this school.” Harry smiles at the end of his mini monologue and turns on his heel, heading towards Severus’ office.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry swans into Severus’ office without knocking. 

“What’s happened?” Severus asks

Harry sits down on Severus’ desk.

“Well Umbridge pulled me out of form to tell me that you and her decided that I was getting to boot from World Religion.”

“She said what? Well first of all, we never had that conversation. Second of all, does she not know how to read?”

“Clearly not. I reminded her that she can’t do that without a full meeting.”

“What did she say?”

“I didn’t give her a chance to say anything before I headed down here.”

“I shall speak to her.”

“Oh, I also threatened to call Lucius.”

“Okay.” There’s a knock at the door. “Two minutes.” Severus calls.

Harry and Sev kiss. 

“Love you.” Harry says before stealing another kiss.

“Love you too. Now get back to class you little minx.”

Harry hops off the desk and walks to the door swaying his hips. Harry turns around and blows Sev a kiss then sashays out.


End file.
